Portland Once Had Great Statue Statues

When I was a younger man, it was my custom to amble around our city with an eye for sculpture. There was one for whatever my mood. If I was in need of courage, for example, I might go to Southeast Portland and gaze admiringly at Joan of Arc on her golden horse.

I still enjoy Portland’s statues, though they fail to have the same effect. I blame this on the city, which in the past two decades has enacted major changes in its statue maintenance policy, most notably the decision to no longer augment the statues with wigs of human hair.

From Portland’s earliest days, it was law that the city provide and regularly maintain a wig of human hair of appropriate style for every statue of metal or stone that depicted the human form. The law was referred to as the Hirsute Statue Statute or “Wig Law.”

The rationale for this law was to make statues more relatable. When we are confronted with a statue that is not wearing a wig, the immediate effect is alienation. Though we recognize the human form, it is within the context of a sterile, lifeless material from which it was hammered. Wigs have the effect of humanizing the subjects of statues, of making the immortal mortal again. Their susceptibility to human frailties are revealed to us, which has the added effect of making it easier to aspire to their virtues.

While the benefits of the Wig Law were obvious, the downside, from the city’s perspective, was the additional funding so that city workers could travel to the statues scattered throughout the city to remove gum, twigs and other foreign gunk from their wigs, wash them, and perform other necessary wig maintenance. It was not cheap, but few would argue it was not taxpayer money well-spent.

Myriad small factors contributed to the decline of the Wig Law, but I saw two primary culprits.

The first was the increased profile of Locks of Love, the charitable organization that gives wigs of human hair to children who have lost their own hair fighting cancer. While noble in its cause, this organization thinned the supply of human-hair wigs.

The second pitfall occurred shortly after the 1985 unveiling of Raymond Kaskey’s Portlandia statue. For many months afterward, the citizens of Portland stood on the street staring up in awe at Portlandia and her luxuriously flowing flaxen wig. That was until a special investigation revealed the wig was not made from human hair at all—but horsehair.

The wig was immediately removed, and the city sued Kaskey. But the famous sculptor fought back, and the ensuing costly legal battle lasted more than three years. Kaskey—not the city of Portland—won sole legal authority to choose a wig for the Portlandia statue.

To pay legal fees associated with the lawsuit, the city’s wig maintenance division was gutted. Wigs were removed from most of Portland’s statues. A few remained, but eventually those wigs were removed, too.

It is a sad state of affairs and symbolic of the way the city has changed that I can no longer punctuate my visits to Mr. Lincoln by climbing onto his back and tousling his auburn hair.

Triangle Productions’ “Full Gallop” Tells the Story of the Late, Great Fashion Editor Diana Vreeland

When Margie Boulé as Diana Vreeland declares, “I only want beautiful things,” you believe her. After all, the set that surrounds her in Triangle Productions’ Full Gallop is an overwhelming display of color and pattern, with red walls, red furniture and an eclectic mixture of Western, African and Asian art.

Set in 1971, Full Gallop zooms in on a particular moment of international fashion icon Diana Vreeland’s life. She has returned from a four month trip to Europe after being fired from her long tenure as Vogue’s editor-in-chief, and is planning a dinner party inviting some of her famous acquaintances. The play has a tinge of sadness amidst its comic moments—especially considering that her guests never show up. It’s like a funnier Mrs. Dalloway, without the PTSD.

Boulé’s one-woman performance is a loving portrayal of the late great fashion editor and her excessive love of life and everything beautiful. She conveys a sense of vibrancy with an infectious, head-thrown-back laugh. Boulé continuously moves and talks, often while doing more than one thing at a time, like picking up the phone only to move across the room and sit down to light a cigarette. Still, other than her particular sense of humor, you don’t really get a sense of Vreeland’s eccentricity from Boulé’s performance. Vreeland seemed to be a caricature of the editorial hot-shot fashionista, although as one of the first truly famous fashion editors, perhaps she created the trope.

Unfortunately, there’s only so much name-dropping and anecdotes that actually build up Vreeland’s character. As a result, the interspersed psychological analysis of what led her to be so interested in fashion and beauty—a childhood where her beautiful mother told her how ugly she was compared to her sister—ends up feeling a bit of an afterthought. But if you have nostalgia for earlier ages of fashion, you will probably find Full Gallop, as Vreeland might say, “absolutely marvelous.”

SEE IT: Full Gallop plays at The Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., trianglepro.org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday,  through Oct. 8, 2 pm Oct. 2, no show Friday, Sept. 30. $15-$35.

Here’s a Mad Lib About Every “Old Portland” Story You’ve Ever Heard on a Barstool

Fill out our “Bad Libs” for the crustiest Old Portland story you’ve ever heard.

Mad:)Takes - free online Mad Libs™

Bad Libs

LAST YEAR YOU COULD BE CONSIDERED YOUNG
INANIMATE OBJECT OR BIRD
NAME OF BAR THAT CLOSED BEFORE 2010
GENTRIFIED NEIGHBORHOOD
YUPPIES/CALIFORNIANS/YUPPIE CALIFORNIANS/HIPSTERS/MIDWESTERNERS/BROGRAMMERS
PBR/RAINIER/ROTGUT WHISKEY
CARTOONISHLY EXAGGERATED LOW PRICE
FIRST NAME OF EUROPEAN AUTHOR
MILD PHYSICAL DISFIGUREMENT
UNPLEASANT WEATHER
IMPLEMENT OR CLOTHING ITEM FOR COMBATING UNPLEASANT WEATHER
RANDOM OTHER STATE
BLUE COLLAR PROFESSION
PROPER NAME OF A CORPORATION IN A POLLUTION-CAUSING INDUSTRY
UN-PC TERM REFERENCING A PERSON’S RACE, SOCIOECONOMIC CLASS, ETHNICITY, SEXUALITY, GENDER IDENTITY, HAIRCUT, PIERCING OR THE FACT THEY ARE CARRYING A SKATEBOARD
ADJECTIVE THAT DESCRIBES STRAIGHT, MIDDLE-CLASS, CISGENDER WHITE PEOPLE
DEROGATORY TERM
SHORTENED NICKNAME OF BARTENDER WITH PHYSICAL DISFIGUREMENT
GENDER PRONOUN
PURPLE CROWN ROYAL BAG/ HARD DRUG PAPER SACK/BACKPACK
HARD DRUG
DEROGATORY TERM FOR THE PLACE WHERE THE PREVIOUSLY LISTED DRUG IS TYPICALLY CONSUMED
COLORFUL TERM FOR THE SORT OF INTOXICATION CAUSED BY THE DRUG
DEROGATORY TERM FOR A FEMALE-GENDERED PERSON
BLUE-COLLARED PROFESSION
DRIVING-BASED PROFESSION
KENO SLIPS/RACING FORMS/TAXI NOTEPADS
FIXED IT UP/TORE IT DOWN
YUPPIE-FRIENDLY BUSINESS/CHAIN STORE
PURCHASE OR CONSUME AN EXTRAVAGANT GOOD OR SERVICE
DEROGATORY NAME FOR DRUG ADDICTS

The Birth of Portland’s ’90s Indie Rock Boom: How Pete Krebs Met Jeremy Wilson Met Sean Croghan

Nineteen years after legendary Portland indie band Hazel broke up, Hazel will again play together at Mississippi Studios on Oct. 2. But three weeks ago, Hazel’s Pete Krebs also played his own birthday party, alongside Jeremy Wilson (Dharma Bums) and Sean Croghan (Crackerbash, Jr. High). Following their solo(ish) sets at a backyard concert two weekends ago, the indie icons shared memories about meeting one another when Old Portland was young.

On Saturday, Sept. 10, down a sleepy side-street on the outskirts of Mt. Scott-Arleta, three legends of Portland music played a small concert for about 60 friends, family and regulars of the Deer Lodge home venue.

Related: The Deer Lodge is Portland’s Best Side-Street Roadhouse.”

If not the founding fathers of an ascendant early ’90s Portland indie scene, Jeremy Wilson, Sean Croghan and Pete Krebs—the former frontmen of Dharma Bums, Crackerbash and Hazel, respectively—would comprise three-fourths of its Mt. Rushmore. (As for that fourth essential figure, Elliot Smith’s old bicycle ordinarily occupies the same stage they played on.)

Sean Croghan 2

Related: The Last of the Sad Bastards: 10 years after his death, Elliott Smith is still estranged from Portland.”

The Deer Lodge—residence of Americana producer Ezra Meredith—encompasses a garage saloon, basement studio and record-label headquarters.

There’s also a backyard bandstand for monthly live gigs. And, this year, Meredith and In Music We Trust impresario Alex Steininger brought the cream of old Portland together again—for, perhaps, the first time on one stage.

As far as the performers could recall, their bands had never before graced the same lineup even once during their salad days.

Captured with Slow Shutter Cam for iOS

“There were so many shows,” Wilson says. “Lotsa, lotsa gigs. Many, many years ago. When we were young.”

“It was always us two,” Croghan says, “or those two, but … all three of us together? Maybe never?”

In any event, their talents meshed flawlessly. Augmented by drummer Micah Kassell and pedal steel doyen Paul Brainard, Wilson’s stirring twilight set gave way to a spellbinding acoustic (a capella, in part) performance from Croghan before Krebs capped the evening with a medley of tunes drawn from throughout his varied career. If the showcase was, indeed, the local mainstays’ first onstage summit, the longtime comrades certainly seemed amenable to further shared bills. Krebs joked they may even consider playing as a trio.  

“Yeah,” he deadpanned, “we’re called The Police.”

How Pete Met Jeremy

Pete Krebs: How did Jeremy and I meet? This is a true story. I lived above the Uptown Beanery in Corvallis—a really cool, old, ’20s or ’30s building. There were four apartments up there with a coffee shop below, and in the neighboring apartment, there was a woman named Alice who for a very brief amount of time was working with the Dharma Bums—

Jeremy Wilson: No, Perfect Circle. I was still in high school.

Krebs: —and Alice was like, “I gotta go to class. Would you mind hanging out with Jeremy until I can come back and grab him?” I was his handler, basically. This is 1985. I’m 19, maybe. We’re in my living room. So, I’m, like, “I write some songs,” and I played this one song about 40 times while Jeremy sang backup. I have a cassette of it somewhere.

Related: “The Legend of Hazel: A story of bearded cupids, Christmas lights, and Portland’s favorite songwriter.”

Wilson: The next morning, I get up, walk to the campus area of Corvallis, and write a 20-page poem based on me and Pete hanging out all night long.

Krebs: You and I were?

Wilson: Yes! You and I were talking! And I wrote this really long poem. Actually, the Dharma Bums CD of self-recordings that we put out in 2010 has a song called “Impression Sunday,” a two-minute, 30-second pop song consolidated down from this epic poem. It was seriously huge. The only thing that we were imbibing was probably coffee, maybe some weed, but I don’t even remember the weed.

Krebs: I don’t remember staying up all night and talking. It was a long time ago.

Wilson: Well, I don’t remember playing your song 40 times.

Krebs: It’s called “Tragedy”.

Related: “A heartbroken Dharma Bum hits the road and restarts his career.”

How Sean met Pete

Sean Croghan: I met Pete because Pete was in Thrillhammer. I was starting Crackerbash, we were playing shows together at the Blue Gallery, and I was just, like, “Let’s hang out sometime and drink beer and talk about music and shit and [drops tone], yeah, you’re a cool guy.”

We had a long, hours-long conversation about the future of underground music. At that time, Portland was really invested in blues-based junkie-rock. It was all Napalm Beach, which at the time I hated but now totally love. I was just, like, let’s get past all this dark rock. We have to create something new – something that’s not based on old sounds but still rock’n’roll.

Related: “Napalm Beach rocks Dante’s like it’s 1998.”

I still loved rock’n’roll, but I wanted an amalgam of ’60s rock and garage rock and punk rock and hardcore and industrial music and all these other things that I liked. It ended up, though, like, “Oh. Now, I kinda miss Dead Moon and Napalm Beach and blues rock.” All the things that we were trying to do became tropes and passé.

How Jeremy met Sean

Croghan: The Dharma Bums were first, a long time before Hazel or Crackerbash.

Krebs: I remember sitting in my apartment in NW Portland on 19th & Everett when someone brought home the first 45 that the Dharma Bums put out, and I was like, “I can’t believe that some of my friends made a fucking record! It’s on vinyl! This is so rad!”

Croghan: For me, their record was such a big deal because it wasn’t hardcore. I felt like all the local bands were hardcore or punk rock or the Wipers.

Wilson: You know the documentaries about Satyricon being this kind of place where people would converge? Sean and I probably met pre-Crackerbash in, like, ’86. He had his Satyricon nights—Sean’s and my and everybody’s bands. We would draw people on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night. They wouldn’t give us Friday or Saturday at Satyricon, but we were all a crew. And, my band was a couple years ahead so we gave them the exposure.

Jeremy Wilson

Pete and I met two years prior to us even playing Satyricon. We were younger, but there were a lot of freaks. The Bums were coming out of a scene very akin to what’s going on right now. It was fucking Donald Trump, man. It was Moral Majority crap. I know for myself, I was actually having physical altercations.

With people like me and Sean and Pete, there are some real stories that run deeper—and not in some sort of shallow, “here’s to keeping Portland weird” crap. I mean, stories about our parents moving to the West Coast and then landing here in this kinda Appalachia of the Northwest. And then, a person like myself kinda coming through the blue collar scene that there was in Portland. I’m not trying to expound on the myth or anything, but at the same time, it’s deeper than people realize.

The Deer Lodge next hosts Sarah Gwen (October), Gabe Rozell (November), and Drunken Prayer (December). Complete fall schedule forthcoming from deerlodgepdx.com.

The Jeremy Wilson Foundation’s (thejwf.org) benefit supporting the Lisa Lepine Musician’s Relief Fund will be helf Sunday, November 13th at the Crystal Ballroom.

Someone Vandalized the Iconic “Machine” Mural on North Williams Avenue

The iconic “Machine” mural on North Williams Avenue was vandalized last week.

Artist Tom Cramer’s brightly-colored mural, painted in 1989, is a landmark on the rapidly-changing street and it became a lightning rod for artists rights when the building “Machine” is painted on was bought by local architect Daniel Kaven earlier this year, prompting rumors of new development.

Related: Division Street gentrification seen through Google street view

The two gray graffiti tags appeared on the “Machine” mural late Sunday night or early Monday morning. Cramer immediately filed a police report and put out a call for information on the Save “Machine” from Demolition Facebook page.

(photo from Tom Cramer)
(photo from Tom Cramer)

“It seems like it may have been some type of inside job,” says Cramer, “because this is the first time anything on this scale has occurred in the nearly thirty years of the murals existence.” He calls it a “hideous and criminal act.”

“I immediately primed over the violated parts and my plan is to re-paint immediately,” says Cramer.

(photo from Tom Cramer)
(photo from Tom Cramer)

The mural is protected from destruction or defamation by a 1990 Federal Law called the Visual Artists Right Act. Cramer and his lawyer say they will pursue legal action if developers move to tear down the mural.

Related: Can Federal Law Save This Threatened Black Lives Matter Mural?

Portland Police visited the mural on Thursday and are launching an investigation into the graffiti.

“Never in the history of the mural has such a horrible violation occurred,” wrote Cramer in an e-mail asking supporters for any information on the tagging. So far, no one has come forward.

Beer Hall: The End of Fresh Hop Season, Oktoberfest Is Nigh

Better late than never, beer fans. This week marks your last chance to partake in two of the beer world’s most exciting annuals: Fresh hop season and Oktoberfest.

Blessed are we who live in Portland, because you have multiple opportunities in which to drink your amber lager or fresh-hopped-anything this weekend, with parties happening as far south as Oregon City and as far east as Montavilla.

Seriously, get out and fill that glass with the good stuff before everything on tap has pumpkin or spices in it (you know, next week).

Friday, September 30

Portland Fresh Hop Fest

The Oaks Park Fresh Hops Beer Fest is always late to the party—meaning some of the fresh-hop beers aren’t utterly fresh—but it’s the biggest fresh-hop fest in Portland, and it’s on its mitzvah year this year, lucky number 13. Expect 60 different fresh-hop beers, in all their great or awful or middling glory. $20 gets a glass and 8 drink tickets. Extra drink tickets are $5 for 4 or $2 each. Kids are allowed on Saturday, but it’s baby-free on Friday. Oaks Amusement Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. 5-9 pm Friday, 12-8 pm Saturday.  

7th Annual Fresh Hop Summit

Montavilla is momentarily fun, because Roscoe’s will have its 7th Annual Fresh Hop Summit, with 30 different fresh hops including Breakside, Laurelwood and Pfriem. No special admission or glasses or whatever—as with all Roscoe’s summits, it’s a low-overhead affair, but taster trays will be on hand. Roscoe’s, 8105 SE Stark St. 2 pm. Free.

Prost! Oktoberfest

Patio at Prost! (Prost!)
Patio at Prost! (Prost!)

Mississippi Ave gets its share of this year’s stein-filled party late, with a ceremonial keg tapping at 6 pm Friday, face painting, and multiple imports on draft (as usual). Given how amazing sister-bar Stammtisch fared when they hosted their own seasonal festivities just a short while ago, we’re sure this will be a quality affair. Prost!, 4237 N Mississippi Ave. 11 am-9 pm Friday-Sunday. Free.

Saturday, October 1

Rosenstadt Oktoberfest

CO of Rosenstadt
CO of Rosenstadt

 

The city’s only German brewery co-run by an actual German will have its Oktoberfest… in actual Oktober. The Festbier’s first tapping will be Saturday at pork-shoulder masters The People’s Pig, who will also be serving a special menu. The People’s Pig, 3217 N Williams Ave. 1-10 pm. $25-30.

Feckin O.C.Toberfest

Those south of the Portland limits get their taste of Germany’s finest this weekend, courtesy of more than a dozen Bavarian and Oregonian taps at Feckin Brewing. Suburban sausage-and-massive-pretzel-lovers rejoice. Feckin Brewing, 415 McLoughlin Blvd., Oregon City. 12 pm. Free.

Tuesday, October 4

Citra Showers Release

Noble Ale Works brings the first keg of its acclaimed IIPA, Citra Showers, to Portland from the land of Disney, a magical castle of grapefruit, lemongrass, and mango that will have you crying lupulin-laced tears of joy. N.W.I.P.A., 6350 SE Forster Rd. 5-10 pm.

Here Are the Best Italian Food and Pizza Happy Hour Deals

Firehouse
711 NE Dekum St., 954-1702, firehousepdx.com. 5-6 pm daily.

Photo: Hilary Sander

[PIZZA AND BEER] Once a place where overpaid government employees—excuse me, heroes—sat around playing cards and waiting for something to burst into flames, Firehouse is now where Portlanders on dates wait for the flames of a wood-fired oven to delicately char the edges of some of the city’s best under-the-radar pizza. Wait early, and it’s much cheaper. The first hour Firehouse is open, from 5 to 6, a splendidly charred pizza margherita is $6, which pairs quite nicely with a $3.50 Heater Allen Pilsner, a $6 house wine or a rotating $6 cocktail. Want sopressata on top of that pizza? Well, it’s $11. Turns out the place can’t discount the meat quite as much as the bread. Get a $3.50 side salad instead—fried cauliflower or salsa verde beets will do. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: $6 margherita pizza, $3.50 Pilsner.

Lincoln
3808 N Williams Ave., 503-288-6200, lincolnpdx.com. 5:30-7 pm Tuesday-Friday.

[USE THE NOODLES] The impossibly crisp-on-the-outside and tender, sweet-on-the-inside cornmeal onion rings with pimento aioli ($6) are alone worth a trip to Lincoln. The fact that you can nab them off the happy-hour menu, alongside other staples from the regular menu like the creamy baked eggs ($6) or the handmade lumache pasta with whipped asparagus butter ($12), is a tasty opportunity not to be passed on. Tack on a $4 draft beer or $6 “bartender’s choice” cocktail and you’re made. PENELOPE BASS.

Best deal: The most expensive happy-hour item is also the best bargain: the $12 lumache, otherwise a $20 dish. At Lincoln, get the damn pasta.

Mama Mia Trattoria
439 SW 2nd Ave., 503-295-6464, mamamiatrattoria.com. 4-7 pm Monday-Saturday, 4-9 pm Sunday.

(Henry Cromett)
(Henry Cromett)

[ALL COMFORT] Mama Mia is the kind of restaurant you only ever think about when you need somewhere to take your grandmother to dinner. With its decor of faux elegance—rows of chandeliers, gilded mirrors—and menu of the most basic Italian standards, it’s the definition of a “safe bet,” guaranteed neither to challenge nor offend. The downtown trattoria is hiding one of Southwest Portland’s standout happy hours, at least in terms of deals. Available in the corner lounge, the menu more than halves its regular dinner prices while keeping the portions hearty. Everything is in the $3-to-$8 range, including the daily lasagna and manicotti, both of which come drowned in herby tomato sauce. Save room for the zeppole ($4.95 for six), balls of soft, fried dough dusted with powdered sugar, served with sides of jam and Nutella and delivered in an steel basket. Nana will assuredly think it’s adorable. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: A 7-inch personal pizza for $7.95.

Mother’s Bistro & Bar
212 SW Stark St., 503-464-1122, mothersbistro.com. 3-7 pm Tuesday-Friday.

[DREAM-HOME COOKING] While Mother’s Bistro aspires to an airy ladies-who-lunch elegance, its lushly brocaded Velvet Lounge caters to a convivial blend of apres-office tipplers by blending the aesthetic of madame’s boudoir with an enlightened take on Mom’s Diner fixins. Alongside the purchase of any beverage—say, a house-infused $6 cocktail like the spicily tart jalapeño-cilantro-steeped Dirty Rita or sweetly refreshing Lavender Silk (lavender-infused vodka, lemon juice, honey, Champagne float)—celeb chef Lisa Schroeder’s $3.95 happy-hour menu ladles out an array of fun-sized, locally sourced, artisanal comfort staples. The hyper-creamed deviled eggs are sinfully indulgent, chopped liver and crackers offer a more-flavorful trad alternative to pâté, and perfectly crisped fried ravioli arrive bursting with cheese. JAY HORTON.

Best deal: The pairing of $3.95 pigs-in-a-blanket (bite-sized Hebrew Nationals swaddled in puff pastry) with a $6 craft-alcopop-nudging Mom’s Lemon Drop allows an after-school snack just like nobody’s mother has ever made.

Nel Centro
1408 SW 6th Ave., 503-484-1099, nelcentro.com. 4-6 pm daily.

[HALF-PRICED PIZZA] When you see a $7 pizza on a hotel happy-hour menu, what you expect is a half-assed personal pie, a Frisbee you’d begrudgingly wolf down at an airport out of caloric necessity. Not at Nel Centro, David Machado’s Southern European hotel spot whose generous happy hour lets you enjoy much of the lunch menu at a drastic discount—around 50 percent for most meals—surrounded by vacationing retirees on an umbrella-lined patio. Centro’s beer list is much better than that of other Portland hotel bars, forgoing the recognizable dad-craft bottles for Commons Urban Farmhouse and Pfriem Pilsner on tap for a very reasonable $4 and a $6 rotating cocktail. WALKER MACMURDO.

Best deal: That $7 pizza gives you a tasty 12 inches of goat cheese, cherry tomato and basil on a thin crust, enough food for two if you aren’t starving and easily shored up with a $6 wheel of hazelnut-crusted goat’s cheese with fixins. Washing it down with a $4 Pfriem feels like a steal.

Nostrana
1401 SE Morrison St., 503-234-2427, nostrana.com. 9 pm-close nightly.

(Joe Riedl)
(Joe Riedl)

The late-night happy hour at O.C.-vibed Nostrana is perhaps Portland’s most perfect locale for socially ambitious cheapskates, with the famous pizzas only $7 if you’re cool with unadorned margheritas and marinaras, the pasta al forno an equally cheap $7, and a mini-charcuterie plate for $5. The gin comes with housemade tonic for $5 as well—no irritating $2.50 upcharge for Fever Tree as at many houses of fancy tonic—and house wines are the same $5. If you don’t let your date see the menu, he’ll think you’re fancy. If you do, she’ll think you’re shrewd. Either way, you win. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: The house red and a margherita pizza make a great $12 meal deal.

Serratto
2112 NW Kearney St., 503-221-1195, serratto.com. 4-6 pm daily.

[BUTTON-DOWN PASKETTI] Serratto is like the Nob Hill neighborhood’s idea of a living room during happy hour—upscale on the cheap, though the favorite remains an $9 succulent, medium-rare half-pound burger with every version of fat, salt and sugar: beef, bacon, brioche, barbecue sauce and fried onion. It comes with fries—no happy-hour stinting here, as evidenced also by a generously poured $6 margarita (which can be swapped for a $6 cosmo or lemon drop, if that’s you). The $5 house wines are table wines in the European style—unobtrusive, decent—better paired with the $8 spaghetti and meatballs. The latter is not as decadent as the burger, but when that’s what you crave, nothing else will do. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $9 burger, $8 spaghetti.

These Happy Hours Are So Cheap—It’s Unreal

Aalto Lounge
3356 SE Belmont St., 503-235-6041, aaltolounge.com. 5-7 pm daily.

(Emily Joan Greene)
(Emily Joan Greene)

[$2 EVERYTHING] At this Belmont Street den of sleek midcentury modernity and “bracing cocktails” (their words), and DJs spinning outlaw country and hip-hop, the absurdly generous happy-hour specials tend to draw couples looking for luxe a la cheapo. Two dollars will get you almost anything: a serrano-infused vodka pineapple cocktail, a lavender-cucumber gin cocktail, a Jell-O shot-flavored “Paloma,” a pretzel with cheese or a grilled cheese sandwich. A tenner buys you an entire bottle of wine. And if you’re feeling both fancy and friendly, there’s a $12 bucket of four Weihenstephaners with your name on it. But be polite. The happy-hour menu is only available to “well-mannered, appropriately tipping customers.” MARTIN CIZMAR.

Best deal: The $2 full-sized Belmont Jewel Cocktail—a mix of bourbon, lemon, pomegranate juice, and orange blossom water. It goes great with your $2 grilled cheese sandwich.

Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St., 503-226-0430, ashstreetsaloon.com. 4-8 pm daily.

[STICK TO PBR] Unsure if Ash Street Saloon is the right after-work watering hole for you? Well, let me ask you this: Are you comfortable walking up to a bartender and asking for a $5 Cunt Licker? If the very thought offends you, Saucebox is just a block away. (If you must know, it’s Malibu Rum, vanilla Stoli and fruit juice, but in truth, you’re probably not going to order anything more colorful than a PBR here.) One of Portland’s waning bastions of questionable taste, the self-proclaimed “dirty rock bar” smells like a minimally sanitized urinal and keeps the television tuned to Syfy. If there isn’t a band named something like Goblin Cock assaulting eardrums from the stage, the Suicidal Tendencies blaring from the house speakers should activate your tinnitus just fine. Trust me, you’ll miss it when it’s gone—which is likely to be next September when its lease expires. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: Pabst is $1.25. Dare to get the burger for just $3 more.

Bartini
2108 NW Glisan St., 503-224-7919, bartinipdx.com. 3:30-6:30 pm, 10 pm-close daily; all day Monday.

(Megan Nanna)
(Megan Nanna)

[CHEESE PLZ] There are a few places you’ll go that will cause certain people to call you “basic.” Buffalo Wild Wings, all of Southwest Portland—and Bartini. It’s like Portland’s own little Sex and the City bus tour shrunk down into a tiny room bordering a fondue restaurant. But with shiny black walls, giant paintings of goldfish in martini glasses, princessy glass chandeliers, a dozen-page book of 100-plus drinks, and an ’80s Jazzercise-esque logo, what’s not to love? It’ll take a while to eat your way through the 30-item food menu (each with its own happy-hour price), so here’s a tip: The Gorgonzola-brie fondue is the best, and it’s easily shareable. Skip the $6 cheeseburger, but definitely get the $3 mashed potatoes in a martini glass, served with a wedge of brie. Drinks are half-price during happy hour, which is most of the hours Bartini is open. Expect sweetness and possibly a flower or sprig of mint; but at $4 apiece, these drinks seem to say what your best friend would. Treat yourself, girl—you deserve it! SOPHIA JUNE.

B-Side Tavern
632 E Burnside St., 503-233-3113. 4-7 pm daily.

B-Side015

[CHEAP, CRAPPY CANS] B-Side spans time like Vincent Gallo in a photo booth. Sure, the whiskey-tallboy rocker dive now has a few heat lamps on the smoking porch—which still has the approximate air quality of an emerging nation—and the tabletop graffiti gets cleaned up for a refresh every now and then. But you will still tell time with a clock depicting Ted Nugent’s face while marking the three-hour “crappy hour,” during which tallboys of Hamm’s, Rainier and Tecate are a mere $1—one of the only daily dollar-beer specials in the entire city. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $1 tallboys.

Belmont Inn
3357 SE Belmont St., 503-232-1998, belmontsinn.com. Drink specials 11 am-6 pm, food specials 3-6 pm daily.

(Bridget Baker)
(Bridget Baker)

[CHEAP QUESO] A defiant reminder of the area’s rougher, readier, recent past, Belmont Inn’s beer tap list has undergone sizable upgrades over the years, and the pool tables are well-maintained for the sort of guy who might strum a pool cue to Bruce Springsteen while his girlfriend rolls her eyes. Though not a sports bar, this is a bar that enjoys sports—a notable rarity amid the tastemaker zone—and for early games or UFC, well drinks are a mere $3 until 6 pm, select craft beers only $3.50. Cheap food doesn’t start till 3, though—and includes dirt-cheap niceties like a $3 cheese-and-bean quesadilla, or a $6 burger that comes with a side of fries either straight or curly. JAY HORTON.

Best deal: Quesadillas—cheap to make or order. $3 gets you bean and cheese, $5 a loaded Southwestern.

Beulahland
118 NE 28th Ave., 503-235-2794, beulahlandpdx.com. 4-7 pm daily.

(Andrew Koczian)
(Andrew Koczian)

[QUEENS MANHATTAN] Beulahland is a neighborhood punk-rock and Timbers-fan clearing house that recently changed up its happy hour completely to offer what may be the cheapest drink in Portland to call itself a Manhattan—it’s $4, served up alongside a $4 martini, a $4 kamikaze, and other $4 rotators that might include housemade ginger soda and a host of muddled limes. If you think that’s a fancy way of saying they don’t upcharge their $4 happy hour wells to make fancy-sounding shit out of them, well, you’re absolutely right. But it’s downright neighborly of them not to. Otherwise, you know, Pabst is $2, crafts are $4 and wine is an improbably cheap $4. Combine any of those with 6 wings for 6 bucks and you’re probably ready for the Timbers game to start in the side room. But my favorite item on the menu is a rotation of house pickles for $3. Because pickles. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Conquistador
2045 SE Belmont St., 503-232-3227. 4-7 pm daily.

(Henry Cromett)
(Henry Cromett)

[VELVETERIA] Conquistador has the best bar nachos in the city of Portland. There are quirkier renditions, bigger ones and cheaper ones. But for the money, and for your taste buds—with five different salsas to choose, Mexican white cheese on top and fresh, warm chips as a base for an ungodly array of non-meat toppings—your heaven is here, in a bar devoted to free jukeboxes, smoking on the patio and ironic appreciations of velvet Spaniards. At happy hour, you can get poquito nachos that are still grande for a mere $6.50, along with drinks so cheap it’ll break your heart: $2 Pabst, $3 craft beers, $5 cava and $3.25 well cocktails—not to mention $6 margaritas. Play shuffleboard or pool while you wait. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $6.50 happy-hour nachos will feed you and a friend.

Dots Cafe
2521 SE Clinton St., 503-235-0203, dotscafeportland.com. 2-7 pm and 11 pm-1 am Monday-Friday.

[DINER BURLESQUE] If aliens, Elvis and Marie Antoinette opened a diner, it might look like Dots. The walls are lined with black-and-white damask wallpaper, oil paintings of Elizabethan royalty, screenshots of Spock, and Warhol prints. The happy-hour menu is just about as nuts. A cool $4 will get you a nacho plate big enough for two with guac and pico or a Thai chicken skewer. A buck more will get you a plate of wings, apparently a house specialty. ENID SPITZ.

Best deal: $3.50 wells, $3.50 select craft brews, $4 nachos.

Dragonwell
735 SW 1st Ave., 503-224-0800, dragonwellbistro.com. 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, 9-10 pm Friday-Saturday.

[GRUB HUB] If you’ve just come from a walk along the waterfront or found yourself trapped in the Bermuda-shorted hell of Pioneer Place mall, you may need a snack or refreshment to bolster your spirits. The pan-Asian bistro Dragonwell will probably seem a ghost town in the wan hours of the late afternoon, but the place offers one of the most extensive happy-hour food menus in town. At $2, $4 and $6 price points, you can find a multitude of options that range from Asian water chestnut and crunchy rice salad to barbecue pork to fried eggplant in gon-bon sauce. Drinks are slightly more expensive, with a 12-ounce bottle of Tsingtao coming in at $4 and house sake at $5, but you only have to order one to qualify for happy-hour food prices. ZACH MIDDLETON.

Best deal: A $3.50 Sapporo draft and an order of the garlic spiced chicken wings work just fine.

The Fixin’ To
8218 N Lombard St., 503-477-4995, thefixinto.com. 2-6 pm Monday-Friday.

[DEEP SOUTH AND LOWDOWN] The Fixin’ To is everyone’s dream of a Southern dive bar on its best day. The clientele is lively and artfully disheveled, but not actively racist or mean. The one restroom is covered in scurrilous graffiti, but with no urine pooling in the corners. And instead of a wall of video poker, there’s a gigantic Nintendo Game Boy that breaks the hearts of all comers with its intermittent functionality. At night, there’s music, and during the afternoon it’s cheap as hell—$1 Old German and $3 crafts and wells, which is to say that before 6 pm this is one of the cheapest bars in town, period. ADRIENNE SO.

Best deal: The Down and Out—Hamm’s and a shot of Old Crow—is $4. A large Rotel and chips, like a nacho you dip yourself, is $5.

Florida Room
435 N Killingsworth St., 503-287-5658. 3-7 pm daily.

(Roger Bong)
(Roger Bong)

[BLOODY ON THE PATIO] Every neighborhood has something like the Florida Room—the kind of place that makes bad decisions feel inevitable. What began as a $3 happy-hour corn dog and some fart-themed tattoos—or a $4 pair of beef sliders just as dirty as both together—may end in a long night of dollar Olympias, which is not a happy-hour deal at all. It’s just what they cost.

Best deal: All is cheap, and at happy hour it’s 50 cents cheaper. Plus, you know, $3 corn dogs and fries.

Imperial
410 SW Broadway, 503-228-7222, imperialpdx.com. 2-6 pm Monday-Friday, 3-6 pm Saturday-Sunday; late night 10-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 pm-midnight Friday-Saturday.

(Imperial, Nolan Calisch)
(Imperial, Nolan Calisch)

[NOT CHOPPED LIVER] Imperial, our 2015 Restaurant of the Year, has lost chef Doug Adams, but still offers a burger with sweet pickles and dill mayo that costs only $6 and ranks among the best in the city. The $4 chicken liver pâté made in the mode of Paley’s legend Stan Luoma melts into unctuous abandon—truly one of the greatest luxuries you could ever get in the city of Portland under $5. The happy hour rotates a bit—specials come on, specials come off—but recently, there was $8 fried chicken. The best deal, however, is also the most consistent: the $5 price on an excellent draft Vieux Carré. It’s all liquor—and alllll goooood. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Related: Imperial Is Our 2015 Restaurant of the Year

Best deal: $5 Vieux Carré. And then another one. And the $4 liver pâté.

Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St., 503-228-3669, kellysolympian.com. 4-7 pm daily, 11 pm-1 am Sunday-Thursday.

[QUICK AND DIRTY] Nothing at Kelly’s Olympian is quite what you’d expect it to be. The over-100-year-old bar has plumbing downstairs that seems to suggest patrons once relived themselves by pissing into a trough directly under the bar—which is, we suppose, no weirder than the fact that the owner currently parks his motorcycles on the ceiling. Meanwhile, alongside dollar-off wells and drafts, the happy-hour menu almost exclusively has food you’d find in a Trader Joe’s freezer—and for the same prices. But it’s all made from scratch. So the $5 happy-hour mac-and-cheese balls are smothered in a house four-cheese blend, breaded with a house mix of panko and Cheetos dust, and dipped in bespoke ranch sauce. The $4 tots come with house fry sauce, and the $4 quesadillas come with housemade salsa. Kelly’s devotion to the quick and dirty is almost heartening. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Just get the mac-and-cheese balls. They’re $5.

Little Bird
215 SW 6th Ave., 503-688-5952, littlebirdbistro.com. 2:30-5 pm (6 pm at the bar) Monday-Friday, 10 pm-close daily, all day Sunday.

(Megan Nanna)
(Megan Nanna)

[BIG BURGER] Little Bird—the downtown sister of Portland’s finest restaurant, Le Pigeon—has a happy hour that seems like pure wish-fulfillment fantasy: a Sex in the City apartment no real person could afford. In this alternate universe, it costs only $5 for a double-pattied burger smothered in melted brie that’s a bit like what a Michelin-starred French chef would make if he’d seen Wendy’s double stack only in photographs. Beautiful, sumptuous sea cow or Fanny Bay oysters are not $2. They are instead $1.75. World-class liver mousse clocks into your mouth at a mere $4. Stirred house cocktails well worth their price at $11 are now suddenly $8. And if you want to splurge, the city’s wackiest—and yet still luxuriant—charcuterie plate, all pig-ear terrine and trout-topped deviled egg, is $5 off, at $20. And it happens every single night after 10 pm and all day Sunday. It is…heaven. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Don’t tell, but that $5 burger is actually a $14 burger in disguise.

Luc Lac
835 SW 2nd Ave., 503-222-0047, luclackitchen.com. 4-7pm daily.

(Megan Nanna)
(Megan Nanna)

[VIETNAMESE TAPAS] It isn’t uncommon to see a line of eager customers waiting outside of Luc Lac’s tiny downtown storefront at 5 minutes to 4 on weekend afternoons. Staffed by impeccably hip 20-somethings and decorated with parasols hanging from the ceiling, this counter-service Vietnamese eatery has one of downtown’s most generous non-burger-themed happy hours. The menu is stocked with more than a dozen $2 plates, tasty snacks from pork- and shrimp-stuffed salad rolls to cream cheese wontons and backed up with a small selection of $3 salads. Luc Lac sports a deep tap list, including Pfriem Wit, Germany’s Kostritzer Scharzbier and Belgium’s Brasserie Dupont Farmhouse, all $4, with house wines for the same price and a rotating cocktail at $6. You can fill up for about $6, but if you’re hungry, don’t be afraid to order more from the bar. WALKER MACMURDO.

Best deal: The cream cheese wontons, shrimp spring and crispy rolls, and a chicken salad is a four-course dinner for $9, and a $4 Kostritzer Schwarzbier is a rare treat.

M Bar
417 NW 21st Ave., 503-228-6614, facebook.com/mbar.portland. 6-8 pm daily.

[CHEAPEST GOOD WINE] This glamorous matte-red broom cupboard of a wine bar is tiny, sultry and unparalleled as an intimate date spot on 21st Avenue. But it’s not for firsts. Even whispers boom in the one-room, candle-lit bar, where the bartender makes friends with everyone, from 40-something neighbors sipping pinot noir to bar backs seeking refuge from 21st’s bro bars. It is, however, a perhaps unparalleled date spot for another reason. The happy hour runs till 8 pm—late enough you won’t seem cheap for suggesting 7 pm as a meeting time—and in addition to $4 well-chosen draft beers, you get $3 off glass pours of wine, leading to outright ridiculous deals on the lower-priced pours. Take credit for splurging on three rounds of a well-rounded red that actually only costs $4. Baller on the cheap. ENID SPITZ.

Best deal: It’s possible to get a decent, well-selected glass of wine for $3 at happy hour. That can be said of…nowhere else.

Maui’s
3508 N Williams Ave., 503-282-1611. 4-7 pm daily.

(Leah Nash)
(Leah Nash)

[PRE-POSTGENTRIFICATION PRICING] In April, the Maui’s patio burned down. But luckily for Portland sports fans, it wasn’t out of commission for long. In the space of two weeks, the staff made a heroic effort and cleaned the place up and rebuilt the patio and now the cheapest bar south of St. Johns is back to servicing patio smokers with $1.25 happy-hour Pabst, $2.50 well drinks and $3 craft beers. It is a funny world in which the city’s most notorious gentrified street has this one little outpost of cheapness left over for the first-wave bohemian gentrifiers now getting pushed out by the real deal.

Best deal: The $2.50 wells are, uh, worth it.

Mi Mero Mole
32 NW 5th Ave., 971-266-8575; mmmtacospdx.com. 2-6 pm Monday-Saturday.

[MARGARITA AND MOLE] First, the disclosure: Triple-M boss man Nick Zukin is a sometime contributor to WW, and someone we reach out to for intel on other spots in this guide. Zuke’s own place is dedicated to his passion for Mexican street food, particularly the stewy taco fillings known as guisados. But he obviously also has a soft spot for the day drinker—because the Chinatown location offers day deals that best almost any in the entire city, not only $2.50 beers and $4 margaritas (!), but nachos that drop to $5 and three-deep huitlacoche flautas for a mere $4. That’s not even counting the daily deals like all-you-can-eat taco Tuesdays for $14.75, or the all-day, everyday deal of a burrito, beer and shot for $10.

Best deal: Seriously, a $4 margarita with $5 nachos is gringo paradise. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Momo
725 SW 10th Ave., 503-478-9600. 3-8 pm daily.

(facebook)
(facebook)

[SECRET GARDEN] Momo is one of the best hangouts in a neighborhood otherwise swamped with high-end restaurants and cocktail offerings, the only place nearby for 45 minutes’ worth of cheap daily unwinding at the end of a long shift at a hard job—and your job can go late or early and it’s cool, because happy hour is a whopping five hours long and doesn’t end till 8 pm. Here, cheap crafts sit beside jug-sized glasses of wine at some of the best rates on the westside as long as you dodge Bulleit on the rocks in favor of a beautifully toxic, probably flammable $3 well whiskey ginger. But aside from easy and cheap intoxication, the real draw to Momo—especially in daylight—is that it sports one of the city’s best hidden patios: a roughly 50-seat enclave preciously guarded by the towering pitted brick and peeling white walls of surrounding businesses. WALKER MACMURDO.

Best deal: $3 wells! Beer is for chumps.

My Father’s Place
523 SE Grand Ave., 503-235-5494, myfathersplacepdx.com. 4-6 pm and 10 pm-midnight Monday-Friday, breakfast special 6-10 am.

[THE REAL CHEAPNESS] Although the Central Eastside Industrial District’s dive bar of record welcomes a wide swath of well-wishers throughout the day, first call attracts an especially diverse scrum for unofficial sunrise service, split evenly between retirees seeking eye-openers and drinkers still awake from the night before—all can get a $5.75 special with two eggs, bacon, sausage and toast. Drinks are always cheap, but in the afternoon you can eat for nothing: Among a dirt-cheap menu, there are $2 pulled-pork sliders and chicken sliders and fries that will help buoy you through a long afternoon of $1.50 Pabst and $3 wells and craft drafts. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: A stiff gin and tonic and a $2 pulled-pork slider with fries. Only $5 poorer, and the day already feels much different.

NEPO 42
5403 NE 42nd Ave., 503-288-8080, nepo42.com. 3-6 pm daily.

[COMFORT ‘HOOD] For years, the signboard hovering atop NEPO 42’s sprawling front patio has quoted Oscar Wilde’s old adage “Work Is the Curse of the Drinking Class,” and its clientele does tend to keep office hours. Around 5, a steady stream of aspirational-normcore regulars begins filling the well-lit, dark-wood pub nouveau interiors to drink select $4 pints from among 20 craft taps or gobble zippy, hearty wings ($5, two for a buck during Blazers games last season). Meanwhile, curious patrons less eager to brave bustling, eerily family-friendly crowds could arrive one hour earlier to find a blissfully vacant bar in which to throw back a stiff whiskey and ginger ($4), nurse a supple Champagne cocktail ($5), or tuck into rather more indulgent fare. Though NEPO recently shelved its battered bacon appetizer, cholesterol-loading patrons need only seek out the masterful fried chicken—golden-brown chunks of crisped succulence either layered atop a waffle ($7) or hidden within the bacon-, spinach- and pepper-laden mac and cheese ($9). JAY HORTON.

Best deal: The $6 Evinrude Special (Evan Williams Green Label and Old German tallboy), plus the $6 OG Dog (a ginormous frankfurter wrapped in a sturdy potato bun and slathered with jalapeño relish, homemade sauerkraut, and a house mustard itself steamed with Old German). Area dives may offer their own variations for one-third the price, but Wilde had another quip about cynics who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Night Light Lounge
2100 SE Clinton St., 731-6500, nightlightlounge.net/home. 2-7 pm Monday-Friday, 3-7 pm Saturday-Sunday, 11 pm-1 am daily.

[NACHO TOWER] The place famous for (briefly) hanging a painting depicting Adolf Hitler wearing a “Make America Great Again” baseball cap is also one of Southeast’s best late-night happy-hour spots—although on a late Tuesday, the only other customer might be a man in a cowboy hat spewing a monologue to the bartender about how jazz saved his life even as a “white boy.” But PBR is $1.50 a pint, french fries are a mere $2, and $6 salads and nachos are enough to feed a table of three. And even though Hitler is gone, the bar did sport a painting of a cute cat licking itself—a biological act turned erotic with the artist’s decision to blur the kitty’s private area. SOPHIA JUNE.

Best deal: The $6 nachos, which look about a full foot high and are layered hot with guacamole, jalapeños, green and red onion, pico de gallo, sour cream and black olives. Wash it all down with a $1.50 pint of PBR.

North Bar
5008 SE Division St., 503-546-9973, northbarpdx.com. 3-7 pm daily.

[BAR BITES] North is where you end up when you venture east enough on Division Street to pass all the bougie taco spots. The bar is a no-nonsense, Goodwill-art-decorated, Cascadia-flag-waving neighborhood watering hole. Happy hour is just as no-nonsense, with several food items for $2: quesadilla consisting entirely of cheddar in tortilla triangles, basic hummus and pita, chips and salsa, green salad, and bare-bones nachos with melted cheese and salsa. Drafts and well drinks are $1 off—and PBR is a cool $1.50. SOPHIA JUNE.

Best deal: $1 PBR all day Tuesday, and $5 margaritas every day at happy hour from the bar’s slushie machine.

Paymaster Lounge
1020 NW 17th Ave., 503-943-2780, paymasterlounge.com. 2-6 pm daily.

(Leah Nash)
(Leah Nash)

[PATIO POOL PARTY] If you’re in Northwest Portland sucking down $1.50 happy-hour Hamm’s and downing $5 nachos under an anatomically suspect drawing of a cat’s penis—well, you’re here, at a bar named after a check-cashing spot that also happens to be home to the best patio in Northwest Portland. Hell, that pool-tabled patio is so good that even a drunkenly driven car tried to park on it once. For four hours each day in this labyrinthine bar—complete with a small front patio to mirror the huge one in back, a weird-balls vending machine and an even weirder TV room—$7 nets not only a burger but the french fries that rightly go with it, and Sauza tequila costs just a dollar more than a $3 well-vodka soda. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $7 burger and fries, $4 Sauza.

Rae’s Lakeview Lounge
1900 NW 27th Ave., 503-719-6494, raesportland.com. 2-6 pm daily.

(Henry Cromett)
(Henry Cromett)

[DAY DRUNK] Oh, Rae’s, you are so strange—a patio with a view of a now-fictional lake, a Montgomery Park after-work rec room, a day-drinker’s haven that looks a little like an airport lounge. Everything is cheap, but what is cheap is always unexpected. Rillettes for $4? A croque monsieur for $6? A $7 mini-Bourguignon that is essentially a Frenchified pot pie? They are not high-class despite European pedigree, but they’ll hit the spot after celebrating with High Life’s Champagne for a mere $1 or a dizzyingly cheap $9 half carafe of wine that’s $3 by the glass. Although…the real stomach-filler for the day-drunk is the huge $3 doughy biscuits and gravy. Too late for happy hour? No problem. Rainier pints are $1 after 9 pm. Too early for happy hour? No problem. Mimosas are $1 at brunch. Or you can just get a 61-ounce rum-and-gin “Thunder Bowl” for $24 anytime. Oh, God—you’re never leaving. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $1 High Life, $1 Rainier, $1 mimosa, $3 biscuits.

Renner’s Grill
7819 SW Capitol Highway, 503-246-9097, rennersgrill.com. Noon-1 pm power hour, 3-6 pm, midnight-2:30 am daily.

(Henry Cromett)
(Henry Cromett)

[TAKE THE BUS] This hole in the wall on Capitol Highway—which recently bought and cleverly renamed the Hawthorne Hideaway as Renner’s Hawthorne Hideaway—has been serving drinks and pub food in the village for over 70 years, and you can feel every one of them. You’ll see old men telling stories of going to Renner’s in the ’60s, rambunctious dudes in cowboy hats swapping jokes, and 20-somethings coming in for a Rainier at the only genuine watering hole in the neighborhood. You’re surprised they’re still alive—given the volume the pricing encourages. Well cocktails are $1 Tuesdays, cheap domestic drafts $1 on Monday. Every damn day you’re alive, both early and late, wells are a mere $2.75—and those same wells are $2.25 at “power hour.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: The bartender we talked to swears by the $6 triple-drumstick deal. We mostly just swear after drinking too much.

Scandals
1125 SW Stark St., 503-227-5887, scandalspdx.com. 4-8 pm daily and all day Sundays.

(Emily Joan Greene)
(Emily Joan Greene)

[CHEERS ON THE CHEAP] Scandals touts itself as “Gay Cheers,” and it more than lives up to it, full of yearslong regulars and yet immediately welcoming to the redheaded stranger wandering through. It feels like the friendliest place in town, from its always-packed landing strip of a patio, to a bar lined with flirtatious singletons, to its tiny, Timbers-watching TV corner tucked away to one side. And with $1.50 PBR and $3 wells, the happy hour drinks are the cheapest within any reasonable radius of the bar. On Fridays and Saturdays, meanwhile, your well vodka will magically transform for the same price into one of the bar’s stunning rainbow of Absoluts. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $1.50 Pabst is cheap anywhere.

Slingshot Lounge
5532 SE Center St., 503-445-6649. 3-7 pm Monday-Friday.

(Megan Nanna)
(Megan Nanna)

[HAIL THE CAESAR] The corner of Southeast 56th Avenue and Foster Road consists mainly of the Gun Room and a waft of pot from Foster Buds. But in the shadow of an “Anyone Can Get Addicted to Pain Pills” billboard lies happy-hour oasis Slingshot Lounge, a true neighborhood watering hole with surprisingly good, cheap food. There’s not even a spot at the bar to sit in the low-lit room near the end of happy hour, which offers seven $3-to-$5 snacks, including a $4 Caesar salad piled high with Parmesan cheese and crunchy homemade croutons, and a $3 basket of fries big enough for three. Drafts and wells are a buck off at $4 and $3, respectively—and the wells are stiff. SOPHIA JUNE.

Best deal: $1 pint of Olympia and $3 for so many fries.

Spare Room
830 NE 42nd Ave., 503-287-5800, spareroomrestaurantandlounge.com. 3-6 pm daily.

[MOM’S MEATLOAF] A sprawling dive that serves as Cully’s unofficial community center, this former bowling alley hosts a range of entertainment, from string-band square dances to Kill Rock Stars showcases to bingo nights for the senior set to the funk stylings of Cool Breeze or Prince tribute band Erotic City. A bar for all time and seasons, it weathers afternoons particularly well, when well drinks and Budweiser both drop to $2.25 and Pabst sinks to a low, low $1.25. But then, this is also a bar where $3 Beam and Cokes happen all day every day, $5 nets you pancakes and bacon in the morning before 11 am. That same $5 will get you a burger and fries at lunch, a spaghetti dinner on Monday or a meatloaf dinner on Tuesday. JAY HORTON.

Best deal: Come on Tuesday at 5 pm, and get meatloaf and a PBR for $6.25 total.

Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St., 503-232-5553, star-bar-rocks.com. 4-8 pm daily.

(Henry Cromett)
(Henry Cromett)

[TOT’CHO CITY] An urban sanctuary composed of hair metal and cheap happy-hour sliders, Star Bar seems explicitly designed to piss off people who don’t like to mix their whiskey with Whitesnake—right down to the deadpan homage to Big Star’s #1 Record with which it shamelessly brands its windows. At happy hour, beneath velvet paintings of panthers, you can imbibe the mighty tater-tot variant of nacho—the tot’cho—for a mere $4. A hamburger stuffed with blue cheese will enter your body for $6. And craft beer—often very good craft beer—is a mere $3.50. Wine is $5, but if you’re drinking wine here you’re wrong in multiple ways we shouldn’t need to point out. JAMES HELMSWORTH.

Best deal: Tot’chos and a pint of Pabst, together at last for a mere $6.

Swift Lounge
1932 NE Broadway, 503-288-3333, swiftloungepdx.com. 4-8 pm Monday-Saturday, 4 pm-2 am Sunday.

[MASONIC BAR] Calling Swift Lounge the coolest hangout on Broadway is like proclaiming Stanford’s the finest dining in all of Lloyd Center, but the place really is a quintessential den of Portlandia-style hipsterism. Drinks are served in Mason jars, the bacon is cured in-house, and the DJs spin ’90s hip-hop. Good luck snaring an open table on Saturday night. Once the crowds for the Hungover Brunch clear out, though, Sunday afternoons are typically chill enough to grab a seat on the sidewalk by the time the “Jolly Hour” kicks in, with a slate of satisfying $5 sliders, pint glasses of sangria for $3 and plates of honey-dipped crispy chicken for $4. Pay in cash and get change for the NBA Jam machine by the restroom. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: The Old Couple, a tallboy of Old German with a shot of Old Crow for $4.

Tapalaya
28 NE 28th Ave., 503-232-6652, tapalaya.com. 4-6 pm daily.

(Christopher Onstott)
(Christopher Onstott)

[WING THING] Tapalaya is a not a Cajun restaurant per se—it’s a New Orleans restaurant, and here that means a hefty dose of Vietnamese from its second-generation Vietnamese Big Easy chef, Anh Lu. Which is a roundabout way of saying get the $6 fish sauce wings at happy hour, because they’re great: spicy, crispy, sweet and large. They pair just fine with a $3 martini or a $5 gris-gris margarita, which—as it turns out—is a fine idea. Other Vietnamese-inflected dishes include a decent-enough $5 lemongrass steak skewer and the best $5 banh mi within a square mile of the restaurant. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $6 wings, $3 martinis.

Yamhill Pub
223 SW Yamhill St., 503-295-6613. 10 am-4 pm, 4-7 pm Monday-Friday.

[CHEAP THREE WAYS] Yamhill Pub, one of the last true dirt-cheap bastions of the blue-collar working class in downtown Portland, has more art on its walls than any gallery in the Pearl—mostly drawn in Sharpie, with layers deep and stratified as any freeway road cut. The happy-hour deals are equally stratified—if you want to spice up the life of a day drinker, all you gotta do is swap the deals around. From 10 am to 4 pm weekdays, people who plan to make a day of it can get a buck off wells and pitchers—pitchers of Pabst drop to a just $6. But when 4 pm rolls around, the bar switches gears for the knock-em-back beer-and-shot crowd. Well whiskey drops to a mere $1.50, and you can get a full pint of Pabst for the same price. Or show up on Saturday, when Bud and Coors cost $3 from noon to midnight.

Best deal: A pint of Pabst and a quaff of cheap whiskey for $3 total.

Here’s Are the Best Happy Hours at Portland’s Fine Dining Restaurants

Aviary
1733 NE Alberta St., 503-287-2400, aviarypdx.com. 5-7 pm weekdays.

(Nashco)
(Nashco)

[HOTTEST DOG] Aviary’s happy hour—perhaps because the bar itself is tucked behind the restaurant—remains one of Portland’s best-hidden secrets. Oysters are a respectable $2.50, sure, but put your money on the $7 slaw dog. Does $7 not feel cheap for a hot dog? Order the damn thing, and discover the city’s best frankfurter—an Olympia Provisions sausage that has been smoked in house to bring out a torrent of meat flavor. Other treats include tempura green beans or a truly excellent duck liver pâté on toast for $5. But seriously: Order the hot dog and a $3 craft draft and you are the happiest motherfucker on Alberta Street. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $3 craft beer and a $7 hot dog that’s worth it.

Cafe Castagna
1758 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-9959, castagnarestaurant.com. 5-6 pm and 9 pm-close Tuesday-Friday.

[$5 COCKTAILS] Portland’s only true fine-dining restaurant—no supper club, no fried chicken, all tablecloth—also sports a cafe that might as well be a burger joint between 5 and 6 pm. Sure, there are $2 oysters and $7 crisped duck-fat potatoes, brightly acidic pickled vegetables available for $2 and a generous $5 cocktail and $6 wine menu bolstering $4 craft drafts. But that burger is a revelation—made startlingly light, despite all the beef, by the bright acidity and pleasing crunch of some of the city’s finest housemade pickles. You might catch yourself thinking about it sometimes during the golden hour right before twilight, when the world looks more beautiful than it should. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $8 burger. $5 “snoop” Negroni variant with gin, Campari and grapefruit.

Clarklewis
1001 SE Water Ave., 503-235-2294, clarklewispdx.com. 4:30-6:30 pm Monday-Saturday.

[DAIQUIRI SPOT] Sitting at Clarklewis’ Water Avenue-facing stone-slab counter before the dinner rush, you truly feel like the only person in the room—the best person to be at a nice restaurant. This privacy is welcome while you contemplate the 12-item happy-hour menu, which offers dishes ranging from $1 nuts to a $6 halloumi cheese plate to $7 grilled venison ribs. Beer is still expensive at $6.50—but wine is $6, and so is a hand-shaken daiquiri. SOPHIA JUNE.

Best deal: Consider this: A pepper-bacon cheeseburger at Burgerville is $6.29. Clarklewis’ happy-hour, maple-wood-grilled hamburger is $7—down from $13—and this is for a slightly charred, fatty burger served on a wheat bun with greens, pickled red onion and mustard aioli. Pay an extra buck for blue cheese, and eat like you mean it.

Firehouse
711 NE Dekum St., 954-1702, firehousepdx.com. 5-6 pm daily.

Photo: Hilary Sander
(Hilary Sander)

[PIZZA AND BEER] Once a place where overpaid government employees—excuse me, heroes—sat around playing cards and waiting for something to burst into flames, Firehouse is now where Portlanders on dates wait for the flames of a wood-fired oven to delicately char the edges of some of the city’s best under-the-radar pizza. Wait early, and it’s much cheaper. The first hour Firehouse is open, from 5 to 6, a splendidly charred pizza margherita is $6, which pairs quite nicely with a $3.50 Heater Allen Pilsner, a $6 house wine or a rotating $6 cocktail. Want sopressata on top of that pizza? Well, it’s $11. Turns out the place can’t discount the meat quite as much as the bread. Get a $3.50 side salad instead—fried cauliflower or salsa verde beets will do. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: $6 margherita pizza, $3.50 Pilsner.

Higgins
1239 SW Broadway, 503-222-9070, higginsportland.com. 4-6:30 pm Sunday-Friday, 10-11 pm Monday-Saturday, 9-10 pm Sunday.

(Thomas Teal)
(Thomas Teal)

[DUCK, YOU SUCKER] Higgins is on one side a tableclothed formality, and on the bar side a casual tavern old enough that the restroom seems to be made for elves—but on both sides, the service is some of the most impeccable in town without being fussy. But the bar side is the best side, and the generous-portioned happy hour is one reason: Eight dollars will get you a giant portion of drenched jalapeño-hot duck wings so rich they make chicken seem a game for fools, while a coffee mug-sized duck-liver mousse will sate a singleton all by itself. Meanwhile, the beer selection—from hundreds in bottles to a well-tended rotation of taps—is almost certainly the best fine-dining beer list in Portland, a distinction it’s maintained for 30 years straight. and at happy hour, it’s 20 percent off. Dig in. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Seriously, those $8 plates are full meals. If you see duck, order duck.

Imperial
410 SW Broadway, 503-228-7222, imperialpdx.com. 2-6 pm Monday-Friday, 3-6 pm Saturday-Sunday; late night 10-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 pm-midnight Friday-Saturday.

(Imperial, Nolan Calisch)
(Nolan Calisch)

[NOT CHOPPED LIVER] Imperial, our 2015 Restaurant of the Year, has lost chef Doug Adams, but still offers a burger with sweet pickles and dill mayo that costs only $6 and ranks among the best in the city. The $4 chicken liver pâté made in the mode of Paley’s legend Stan Luoma melts into unctuous abandon—truly one of the greatest luxuries you could ever get in the city of Portland under $5. The happy hour rotates a bit—specials come on, specials come off—but recently, there was $8 fried chicken. The best deal, however, is also the most consistent: the $5 price on an excellent draft Vieux Carré. It’s all liquor—and alllll goooood. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Related: Imperial Is Our 2015 Restaurant of the Year

Best deal: $5 Vieux Carré. And then another one. And the $4 liver pâté.

Interurban
4057 N Mississippi Ave., 503-284-6669, interurbanpdx.com. 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, 10 pm-close Sunday.

(Megan Nanna)
(Megan Nanna)

[ROYALE WITH LIQUOR] Interurban understands that a great bartender is more than an automated alcohol measurement system—but one who can settle debates about liquor while also making a Sazerac with admirable restraint. Food here has gone upscale of late, though there are still $7 hot wings at happy hour. But when in Rome, get the $9 pâté plate instead, and pair it with a $4 imperial pint of craft beer, a $5 wine, or—good goddamn, is that a $5 kir royale? A $5 “punch” made almost entirely of brandy, bourbon and rum? A $5 “sangria” that’s mostly wine, chinato and vermouth? Liquor’s quicker, America.

Best deal: Select $4 imperial pints, $5 wines and $5 cocktails. Cheap snacks. Discounted barrel-strength whiskey.

Irving Street Kitchen
701 NW 13th Ave., 343-9440, irvingstreetkitchen.com. 4:30-6 pm daily.

(Kayla Sprint)
(Kayla Sprint)

[FRIED OYSTERS] Irving Street Kitchen’s Southern-influenced cuisine isn’t cheap during dinner, so take advantage of happy hour when you can. Drinks—selected wine, a couple cocktails, and PBR with a whiskey back—are just $6 each, and some of the food offerings are smaller yet well-executed dishes off the regular menu. Peppercorn-sauced meatballs ($7) make for a hearty snack, or go a lighter route with chicken-fried oysters ($6), which come with tasty Herbsaint aioli. ROB FERNAS.

Best deal: $7 meatballs, $6 wine.

Kachka
720 SE Grand Ave., 235-0059, kachkapdx.com. 4-6 pm, 10 pm-midnight daily.

[NA ZDOROVIE] After 10 pm since this June or so, Kachka has become one of the very best bars in a neighborhood of bars. Late and early, it now serves a world of vodka accompaniments that includes a self-consciously named $12 drinking board named after Bonnie’s dad Slava and packed with cured meats and cheese and pickles, plus treats on the cheap from $2 fish jerky to $5 mussels. The justly famous Siberian pelmeni dumplings drop, meanwhile, from $13 to $9. All of these things pair quite well with a $5 Moscow mule or a $9 hundred-milliliter serving (about three 1-ounce shots) of house-infused vodka from horseradish to sea buckthorn berry to cacao nib or dill. Life is good, here. And drunk. And good. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: You will not drink cheaper better than with 100 milliliters of the horseradish vodka for $9.

Lincoln
3808 N Williams Ave., 503-288-6200, lincolnpdx.com. 5:30-7 pm Tuesday-Friday.

[USE THE NOODLES] The impossibly crisp-on-the-outside and tender, sweet-on-the-inside cornmeal onion rings with pimento aioli ($6) are alone worth a trip to Lincoln. The fact that you can nab them off the happy-hour menu, alongside other staples from the regular menu like the creamy baked eggs ($6) or the handmade lumache pasta with whipped asparagus butter ($12), is a tasty opportunity not to be passed on. Tack on a $4 draft beer or $6 “bartender’s choice” cocktail and you’re made. PENELOPE BASS.

Best deal: The most expensive happy-hour item is also the best bargain: the $12 lumache, otherwise a $20 dish. At Lincoln, get the damn pasta.

Masu
406 SW 13th Ave., 503-221-6278, masusushi.com. 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, 4-6 pm Saturday-Sunday, 10 pm-close nightly.

[LOW ROLLER] At its regular prices, Masu can cost as much as Yama or Fukami, my picks for the finest sushi in town. But at happy hour? Choose carefully—the specialty rolls are on the menu, but there’s no price break—and you’re getting some of the best sushi deals in town. A mere $4 to $6 will net you maki filled with albacore tempura, tekka tuna, salmon, salmon skin, eel, or spicy tuna. And the price break on most non-aji-tuna nigiri (but not sashimi!) is just as extravagant, rolling in at almost a 50 percent price break. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $3 for a duplex of albacore or chinook nigiri from a premium sushi spot? What the hell?

Nostrana
1401 SE Morrison St., 503-234-2427, nostrana.com. 9 pm-close nightly.

(Joe Riedl)
(Joe Riedl)

The late-night happy hour at O.C.-vibed Nostrana is perhaps Portland’s most perfect locale for socially ambitious cheapskates, with the famous pizzas only $7 if you’re cool with unadorned margheritas and marinaras, the pasta al forno an equally cheap $7, and a mini-charcuterie plate for $5. The gin comes with housemade tonic for $5 as well—no irritating $2.50 upcharge for Fever Tree as at many houses of fancy tonic—and house wines are the same $5. If you don’t let your date see the menu, he’ll think you’re fancy. If you do, she’ll think you’re shrewd. Either way, you win. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: The house red and a margherita pizza make a great $12 meal deal.

Olympia Provisions
1632 NW Thurman St., 503-894-8136, olympiaprovisions.com. 3-5 pm daily.

[THE BEST WURST] OP doesn’t call its happy hour a happy hour. It is, instead, a “midday menu” filling in that awkward two hours between times anyone would sensibly lunch or dine. But it is here you’ll fine the sweet spot on pricing, with a miniature charcuterie platter featuring Portland’s finest cured meats for $7 (you can get the full $18 house charcuterie board if you like), a $6 cheese plate, and the city’s best hot dog for $5—it isn’t even close, and comparing it to other hot dogs is like comparing country ham to other ham. Oh, but did you actually want ham? A really nice ham sandwich is $7, and you can eat it outside or right by the entryway butcher counter—thus treating a fine restaurant as your own personal deli counter. Because it also is your deli counter, except with cocktails. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: The $5 dog, dawg.

Southpark
901 SW Salmon St., 503-326-1300, southparkseafood.com. 3-6 pm, 10 pm-midnight.

Southpark
(Emma Browne)

[BURSTING WITH FISH] Southpark is that restaurant with the fish stuck in the building’s corner as if caught midjump by a bear. For years it’s been the staid and clubby hang of the Schnitz sponsor and theater crowd, much more sexagenarian than sexy. But lately? The happy hour’s a little bit sexy. The restaurant’s devotion to cheap oysters continues, but it recently shoved some of its best new sides onto the $5 happy-hour menu. The fennel and pistachio-brittle beet plate is one of the best new salads I’ve had this year—and it’s $5 at happy hour. Also $5 are an excellent Mediterranean-inflected butter lettuce with za’atar and yogurt dressing, a build-your-own charcuterie board, a single-serve pizza, clam chowder containing gnocchi, and just about any drink you’re likely to get: wine, drafts, well cocktails or a sweet-minded cherry sangria. Don’t bother with the $8 burger, though—if you want filler, get the $10 clams instead. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Stick to the $5 menu, and it’s all cheap.

Trifecta
726 SE 6th Ave., 503-841-6675, trifectapdx.com, 5-6 pm Monday-Thursday, 4-6 pm Friday and Sunday, 4-5 pm Saturday.

Trifecta, Hilary Sander
Trifecta, Hilary Sander

[FAT HEAVEN] Every day except dishonest Friday and Sunday—when your time window inexplicably doubles—happy hour is one hour only, the first hour Trifecta is open. But it is enough time to fulfill your entire calorie quota for the day by eating a $10 pimento cheeseburger—oozing and monstrous and double-stacked with both patties and cheeses in a thick bun that simply can’t compete with the protein-packed salt and fat of the thing. Combine that with a $6 Old Fashioned, Sazerac or Negroni, and you are either off to a hell of a start on your weekend or in a Monday food coma that will take you straight home. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: You’re here for the burger and the cocktail. Get the burger and the cocktail.

Here’s Where to Get Great Happy Hour Burgers

Altabira
1021 NE Grand Ave., Suite 600, 503-963-3600, altabira.com. 4-6 pm daily.

Christine Dong
Christine Dong

[BURGER WITH A VIEW] Atop midscale, midcentury-modern Hotel Eastlund you’ll find a beery pub called Altabira, formerly home to a Red Lion Hotel pub called Windows. The windows are still the best feature. You have an incredible view of downtown from the modernist steel patio furniture at this spacious bar, which also boasts a long list of localish beers and a pretty decent bistro burger with white cheddar and caramelized onions on brioche. But get it and a $6 Moscow Mule only during happy hour—the hike on that burger is steep after 6 pm, rising from $7 to $14. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Best deal: The $7 burger and $6 Moscow Mule.

Bar Bar
3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895, mississippistudios.com/bar-bar. 11 am-4 pm (bloody marys and margaritas) and 4-6 pm daily.

(Emily Joan Greene)
(Emily Joan Greene)

[BLOODY ON THE PATIO] Some may be tempted to dismiss Bar Bar as a means to an end, a burger-and-tallboy baby sibling to North Portland concert hall Mississippi Studios. But consider treating it as a destination in its own right—a patio bar with a laid-back atmosphere less suited to making new friends than meeting old ones. The burgers are a $6 during hours happy or not, but during happy hour, drafts, wells and house cocktails drop a buck, and Pabst is dive-bar priced at $2. Show up anytime before happy hour and the discounts stick to margs and bloodies, each $1 off. GRACE CULHANE.

Best deal: $4 wells and $3.50 La Bomba tecate michelada—and that always-cheap, always-welcome $6 burger.

Bazi Bierbrasserie
1522 SE 32nd Ave., 503-234-8888, bazipdx.com. 3-7 pm and 10 pm-close Monday-Saturday, all day Sunday.

(Hilary Sander)
(Hilary Sander)

[BATTLE OF THE BELGIANS] Hilda Stevens’ comfy spot isn’t exclusively Belgian, but it is exceedingly well-curated—especially among the Belgian side of Oregon beer offerings, such as those from Pfriem, Upright and the Commons. If it’s on tap here, it’s good. Chances are, if it’s on the food menu here, it’s good, too—especially when the excellent, loaded-up burger drops to $6 alongside $6 Belgian mashed-potato stoemp. If you’re afflicted with vegetarianism, Bazi is one of the few spots whose excellent lentil veg-burger is cheaper than the meat version: $5 cheap! MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Just get the burger, whether veggie ($5) or beef ($6), and God bless.

Biwa
215 SE 9th Ave., 503-239-8830, biwarestaurant.com. 5-6 pm and 9-10 pm daily (9-11 pm Friday-Saturday).

(Hilary Sander)
(Hilary Sander)

[FOR RAMEN’S SAKE] It’s rare that a happy-hour special involves a $10 drink—but at the counter, Biwa offers a very generous pour of premium sake. The one on offer recently was the terrific Rihaku junmai ginjo genshu, which started fruity and finished with some heat. Biwa’s ramen has slipped a bit, but it’s $5 at the counter at happy hour, as is the udon. But the $3 chashu add-on in that ramen? Best in town. No equal. BRIAN PANGANIBAN.

Best deal: $5 ramen is good. But $7 for a four-piece set of nigiri is a steal.

Burnside Brewing
701 E Burnside St., 503-946-8151, burnsidebrewco.com. 3-5 pm food specials, 3-6 pm “fermentation hour” beer specials daily.

(Bridget Baker)

[PORK-RIND NACHO] Between its extensive, off-the-wall lineup of galangal or pumpkin seasonals and antlered, outdoorsy decor guaranteed to appease the expectations of tourists visiting a Real Portland Brewpub™, Burnside has maintained its status as a must-visit for nearly six years. But it’s also one of very few breweries in the city to maintain a truly legit happy hour: a mere $5 for nachos made of pork cracklins (!), and $7 for a burger that usually clocks in at a hefty $12, plus a buck off pints. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: Stop in on Wednesdays and Imperial 20-ounce pints are $3.75 —plus those $5 cracklin’ nachos. It’s so wrong it’s right.

Cafe Castagna
1758 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-9959, castagnarestaurant.com. 5-6 pm and 9 pm-close Tuesday-Friday.

[$5 COCKTAILS] Portland’s only true fine-dining restaurant—no supper club, no fried chicken, all tablecloth—also sports a cafe that might as well be a burger joint between 5 and 6 pm. Sure, there are $2 oysters and $7 crisped duck-fat potatoes, brightly acidic pickled vegetables available for $2 and a generous $5 cocktail and $6 wine menu bolstering $4 craft drafts. But that burger is a revelation—made startlingly light, despite all the beef, by the bright acidity and pleasing crunch of some of the city’s finest housemade pickles. You might catch yourself thinking about it sometimes during the golden hour right before twilight, when the world looks more beautiful than it should. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: $8 burger. $5 “snoop” Negroni variant with gin, Campari and grapefruit.

Church
2600 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-206-8962, churchbarpdx.com. 4-7 pm daily.

(Emily Joan Greene)
(Emily Joan Greene)

[PRAY FOR PUNCH] Church is a cool indie bar with an ironic name and theme that has live rock music on Monday nights and DJs who occasionally put on a Shins track. It just installed a pleasant patio out back, and on the weekend it’s a dance club. But at happy hour, it’s there for your cheap food needs: There’s a $6 house punch, a tequila shot with a Sangrita back is $5 alongside a few $7 cocktails, and most importantly that half-pound burger now costs $8—or there are hush puppies for a fiver. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

(Emily Joan Greene)
(Emily Joan Greene)

Best deal: $5 tequila shot and Sangrita or a $4 well, $8 half-pound burger.

Club 21
2035 NE Glisan St., 503-235-5690. 3-7 pm Monday-Friday.

Pop Tavern
(Henry Crommet)

[BURGER CHURCH] Little Sandy Boulevard ski-lodge-for-witches Club 21 has probably 15 beer signs inside as old as your mother. It was once a Ukrainian church. It was Jake’s Crawfish. It was a bar called Shadows owned by the guy from Nick’s Coney. Lately, the cheap drinks and build-your-own burgers have made it a daytime office for comic artists and drummers alike. At happy hour, you start with a $6 burger and then you stack it any which way you like. Spice it with sea salt and peppercorn or 12-spice barbecue, put it on a bun or toast or whole wheat, and add free veggies from standard (lettuce, onion, tomato) to wildstyle (pickled habanero). Fancy shit like cheese (whether cheddar or smoked gouda), bacon or sautéed mushrooms costs a buck extra. But wells are $3, so if you’re feeling fancy, you can make that money back in cheap booze. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Best deal: The standard burger basket with fries is $7.

Clyde Common
1014 SW Stark St., 503-228-3333, clydecommon.com. 3-6 pm daily.

Thomas Teal

[THE LESS COMMON CLYDE] Clyde Common’s now-legendary happy hour is best known for the burger, and for the cocktails of celebrity bartender Jeffrey Morgenthaler. But chef Carlo Lamagna’s Filipino-inflected menu offers a few new and interesting treats since last year: Freshly fried chicharrones ($4) may be revelatory to folks used to munching on grease-bomb pork rinds from a bag, especially when they’re as light and airy as these. Very subtly seasoned, the lemon and sour cream accompaniments add a nice piquant note to the overall unctuousness. Deep-fried lumpia ($5) are the mainstays of Filipino potlucks worldwide, and while Clyde’s version is a touch larger than the tight cigarillo Shanghai variety that the dish harks back to, it meets all the garlicky, porky notes that the style requires. But still: Get those $6 cocktails. Damn. BRIAN PANGANIBAN.

Dots Cafe
2521 SE Clinton St., 503-235-0203, dotscafeportland.com. 2-7 pm and 11 pm-1 am Monday-Friday.

[DINER BURLESQUE] If aliens, Elvis and Marie Antoinette opened a diner, it might look like Dots. The walls are lined with black-and-white damask wallpaper, oil paintings of Elizabethan royalty, screenshots of Spock, and Warhol prints. The happy-hour menu is just about as nuts. A cool $4 will get you a nacho plate big enough for two with guac and pico or a Thai chicken skewer. A buck more will get you a plate of wings, apparently a house specialty. ENID SPITZ.

Best deal: $3.50 wells, $3.50 select craft brews, $4 nachos.

Double Barrel
2002 SE Division St., 503-234-1420. 2-7 pm Friday, all day Sunday.

[ONE-BARREL BURGER] One of the spate of newish bars in Southeast Portland working a Wild West theme, Double Barrel looks like what would happen if some intrepid developer airlifted the haberdashery from The Hateful Eight into the heart of New Division, cleaning up the bloodstains and installing pinball machines and a big screen to watch sports on, while keeping the place just grimy enough to maintain a vague “you might get shot over a card game here” vibe. In short, it walks the fine line between obvious contrivance and unforced authenticity needed to pull off the old-time thing. Boasting perhaps the neighborhood’s widest selection of swill, the joint is pretty cheap to begin with, and at happy hour the pints and wells are only 50 cents off. But the excellent, no-frills Single Barrel burger drops to $5, which is reason enough to mosey on over for a tall can of Oly and hours of concussion-ball on Sunday, when the cheapness lasts all day. MATTHEW SINGER.

Best deal: Not in a burger mood? The chicken wings are $6.

Foster Burger
5339 SE Foster Road, 503-775-2077, fosterburger.com. 3-5:30 pm daily.

[BEEFY BEEF] Foster Burger’s happy hour caters to exactly what you want—$1 off burgers, $1 off a side of fries, and $2 PBR tallboys. This means you can have a mean meal for just $8, compared to the usual $11. This is price exclusivity at its finest. While other happy-hour spots mark down their burgers to $6 or $7, Foster gives you a $5 burger that’s worth it. Trust us, it’s worth the drive and having to suck down a room-temperature PBR tallboy. SOPHIA JUNE.

Best deal: Get the double burger ($6.50) with a side of fries ($2).

Imperial
410 SW Broadway, 503-228-7222, imperialpdx.com. 2-6 pm Monday-Friday, 3-6 pm Saturday-Sunday; late night 10-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 pm-midnight Friday-Saturday.

(Imperial, Nolan Calisch)
(Imperial, Nolan Calisch)

[NOT CHOPPED LIVER] Imperial, our 2015 Restaurant of the Year, has lost chef Doug Adams, but still offers a burger with sweet pickles and dill mayo that costs only $6 and ranks among the best in the city. The $4 chicken liver pâté made in the mode of Paley’s legend Stan Luoma melts into unctuous abandon—truly one of the greatest luxuries you could ever get in the city of Portland under $5. The happy hour rotates a bit—specials come on, specials come off—but recently, there was $8 fried chicken. The best deal, however, is also the most consistent: the $5 price on an excellent draft Vieux Carré. It’s all liquor—and alllll goooood. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Related: Imperial Is Our 2015 Restaurant of the Year

Best deal: $5 Vieux Carré. And then another one. And the $4 liver pâté.

Killer Burger
4644 NE Sandy Blvd., 971-544-7521; 8728 SE 17th Ave., 841-5906; 510 SW 3rd Ave., 946-8946; killerburger.biz. 2-5 pm Monday-Friday.

Killer-Burger
[GRILLIN’ WITH BACON] Even with its mandatory bacon policy, Killer Burger reins it in to create tight, interesting burgers that are disposed toward smoky and spicy flavors. And during “crazy hour,” which lasts three hours, KB develops a form of dyslexia in which its classic $9.65 BLT-style burger and signature peanut butter, pickle and bacon burger become instead $6.95 burgers, everywhere Killer Burgers are sold. Combine that with $3.50 beers, and you have one of the best burger deals in Portland.

Best deal: There is only one deal, and it is great.

Slow Bar
533 SE Grand Ave., 503-230-7767, slowbar.net. 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, midnight-2:30 am Sunday-Thursday.

SlowBurger

[EPIC BURGERS] This is an unlikely home for Portland’s most celebrated pub burger. A proud survivor of an earlier iteration of Portland glam, Slow Bar is a den of nightlifers reading the newspaper in the dim, red lighting that I associate with places like Amsterdam and Prince’s powder room. But none of that decadence can compare to the Slowburger, normally $11 for a Beacon Rock-sized column of ground chuck, Gruyere and onion rings that tastes like the Oxford English Dictionary needed more definitive examples of the concepts “fat” and “melt.” At happy hour, you can get a kimchi-and-kale version—still 6 ounces of beef—for a mere $5. Also only $5 is a cocktail bowl of ceviche and chips, a generous iceberg wedge smothered in blue cheese and bacon, and any of three different pairs of sliders that include albacore. AARON MESH.

Best deal: $5 burger, $1.50 fries, $5.50 Duchesse de Bourgogne always on tap.

Tryst
19 SW 2nd Ave., 503-477-8637, bartryst.com. 4-7 pm Wednesday-Sunday.

photo by Henry Cromett

photo by Henry Cromett

Tryst is a rare comfort spot amid the racket of Old Town’s Ankeny alley. A half-year into its tenure, it remains largely undiscovered by the human cocktail of suburbanites that crowd the ‘hood. But nearby office workers should discover this place damn quick—because at 5 pm quittin’ time, that deliciously buttery $7 hoisin-Sichuan burger is a sleeper choice for best happy-hour meal in the district, with options on $6 katsu or banh mi sandwiches. Wine, wells, cocktails and drafts drop the customary buck—and none are all that pricey to start with, meaning a $5 glass of wine or $7 Old Fashioned is always within grasp. But whatever you get, always order the fries ($3 at happy hour). That ginger ketchup, paired with furikake seasoning on the fries, is probably perfect.

Best deal: That $7 happy-hour burger drops to $5 on Wednesdays.

Victory Bar
3652 SE Division St., 503-236-8755, thevictorybar.com. 5-6 pm daily, 10-11 pm Sunday-Thursday.

(Leah Nash)
(Leah Nash)

[BIG BROTHER POUTINE] Victory Bar remains steadfastly unchanged in Division Street Disneyland, its Orwellian Big Brother decor all the more poignant and ironic among the new crop of multiuse towers. Because why fuck with a good thing? The beer selection rivals any local beer bar in curation, a buck cheaper from 5 to 6 pm. Meanwhile, the food happy hour makes no sense and doesn’t have to. You’ve got three choices. All American backcountry is served by a big, juicy venison burger. A West Coast take on Canadian poutine is offered by a bacon-cheddar-slathered mess of fries. And Germans will be sated by the housemade spaetzle. But the food’s cheap at funny times: from 5 to 6 pm and 10 to 11 pm only. At midnight it costs more, because who wants to encourage you to dirty up the kitchen that late?

Best deal: $3.75 wells, $4 select craft pints and $6.75 for an unholy wealth of cheese-and-bacon-covered fries dirtier than any bomb.